


The Talk

by TheMuchTooMerryMaiden



Series: The only way that each can help the other [8]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-27
Updated: 2011-10-27
Packaged: 2017-10-25 00:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMuchTooMerryMaiden/pseuds/TheMuchTooMerryMaiden





	The Talk

In the end Robbie put off any discussion until the next day. It wasn’t precisely cowardice, it was just that when he got home everything was so good that he decided that he’d enjoy it rather than attempt to remake it into something that might be better but might be much worse. James seemed to be a lot better, still tired, probably would be for a few weeks, but definitely better; tonight when he helped with the supper he actually helped with the supper which was by far more edible for his intervention. The two of them didn’t exactly snuggle on the sofa while watching stupid television programmes but James certainly sat closer than he normally did and there were times when hands met (almost) accidentally and those times sent a thrill through Robbie and brought the very slightest blush to James’ face. When it got to time to sleep they had an argument/discussion, about who should take the bed but as Robbie pointed out possession is nine points of the law and he didn’t like James’ chances of moving him off the sofa in his current state. James was forced to accept the strength of his superior officer’s argument although he went off to the bedroom muttering ‘you’ll have to get off the sofa sometime’ and ‘don’t complain to me about your bad back’ but also he went off with a sleepy grin which Robbie knew was mirrored on his own face.

 

“I think we should go out for a drive today, get you some fresh air, what do you think?”

“Sounds nice, anywhere in particular?”

“No just somewhere where we can both relax and maybe get a short walk to see how you go on.”

“You’ll be going back to work the day after.” It wasn’t a question but Robbie’s reply was,

“I reckoned I might, you don’t need me anymore?” James pulled a face and it was on the tip of his tongue to say how much he needed Robbie, must be being sick weakening my resolve he thought, but it seemed like Robbie had his second sight turned on that day when he cut across what James was going to say with a casual, “You know what I mean!” and a smile that warmed James all through. Robbie moved off into the other room but then leaned back around the door frame, “You don’t need to go home, though, I’d still feel happier if I could keep an eye on you at night for the next little while.” James smiled his agreement.

The outside world felt strange to James, as did his own body to be honest, like there was a layer of insulation between his brain and everything else including his own muscles; he was breathing hard by the time was sat in the passenger seat and he’d only walked from the house to the kerb. Robbie noticed, of course he did but he didn’t seem to feel the need to comment, just pulling the car out onto the road and steadily heading out of town.

Robbie had decided that perhaps the best place for a walk with James in his wakened state was along the canal towpath, nice and flat and nice and quiet. He headed north towards Lower Heyford, parking at the station and crossing the footbridge to get onto the canal-side.

“You sure you feel up to it?” he asked James.

“We can only see how I go,” was James’ noncommittal answer. The climb up to the footbridge short though it was left James breathless and they sat at the first bench they came to. “Sorry, sir,” he began to apologise but Robbie cut him off,

“Two things, James, for pity’s sake when we’re not at work can you please try not to call me sir and could you give over apologising for things that aren’t your fault.” There was only one possible response that James could make,

“Sorry, sir,” he replied grinning at his boss. Robbie settled for an amused grimace.

“Shall we push on?” he asked, gesturing towards a bench a little further along the towpath but James had begun to get his body under control and they didn’t stop until the next bench but one. By then James was more than grateful to sit down and was beginning to be a bit dubious about the walk back to the car. He knew that Robbie has noticed that he was struggling and he was unsurprised when the older man indicated that they would stop here,

“That’s probably more than far enough,” Robbie said, “for a first trip out, and we’ve got to go back, I don’t think I could get the car any nearer to here than it is already.”

“Oh, I’ll manage after a rest,” James said, “although I’d have to admit this meningitis can take it out of a person.”

“Aye, it’s been a fun few days hasn’t it?” Robbie agreed, allowing himself a moment or two to be thankful that is had been no worse. The two of them sat for a while looking out over the water although Robbie for one knew he was not taking in much of the view as he tried to get grips with Talking to James, a phrase which had achieved capital letter status in his mind rather quickly.

“James,” he said, “I think we need to talk.”

“Shit,” James replied eloquently.

“No, don’t worry, it’s nothing you need to worry about, least I don’t think so, actually ... shit ...”

There was a long pause, which Robbie broke eventually,

“Articulate, that’s what we are, eh?” James laughed but the laugh quickly petered out and he cleared his throat, his nerves obvious,

“Are you sure we need to talk? And why does the word ‘talk’ keep respelling itself in my head with a capital letter. Listen, sir, sorry Robbie, I’m sorry, OK? It was just that I was so relaxed and so comfortable and I just didn’t think beyond that, I should have done, I know I crossed the line and I can’t believe how reasonable you’re being about this, but it won’t happen again, I promise, can’t we just leave it? Please?”

Robbie could hear the panic in the younger man’s voice and he wanted to hold him and tell him everything was fine but difficult though it was he was sure that they really did need to talk things through; nothing in James’ garbled apology confirmed or denied how he was feeling, and so he continued in a quiet, controlled voice,

“Ah, but James, pet, what if I wanted it to happen again?”

Everything was very, very quiet. The water was lapping slowly at the bank and the wind was gently moving the reeds growing at the water’s edge as both of them continued to stare into the distance. The wait for James to reply seemed to Robbie to be going on forever and when he did reply it was something of an anti-climax,

“Sorry, what?” Robbie risked a look at the younger man and answered,

“I said: what if I want it to happen again, and what if I want more?”

In quite the smallest voice that Robbie had ever heard James asked another question,

“Do you mean it?” It was Robbie’s turn to be flustered, suddenly he was horribly aware of the age difference, of how decrepit he was, of all the things that counted against the two of them together.

“Yes, I do but I’ll understand if you don’t want that, I’m not a bloody catch and there’s your career to think about...” James interrupted him, swinging his right leg across the bench so that he was sat at right angles to Robbie, so that he could see his face clearly,

“Are you changing your mind?” he asked, intently studying Robbie’s face. As Robbie turned to look at him there was such an expression of mingled hope and worry that it took all of his self-control not to pull the lad into his arms,

“No, James this is something I’ve thought about enough to know my mind, it’s you that should be thinking carefully.”

“What, you think this is something I haven’t considered for years?”

“Really?”

“Really,” and at that Robbie leaned across the gap between them and pulled James into his arms and just held him. Robbie could feel that James was shivering and found himself rubbing James’ back, “You’re cold, pet, we should get you back to the car...”

“No I’m not cold,” James interrupted, “it’s just that I can’t believe this. I just can’t believe that this is finally ... I just can’t believe ...” and abruptly James was crying and the only thing that Robbie could do was hold him more tightly and murmur stupid, simple words that meant nothing except that he wanted to comfort the one he loved.

Eventually James’ tears dwindled and the two of them pulled away slightly.

“So what happens now?” James asked and Robbie could see nervousness, desire, worry and a thousand other things in his face,

“Whatever we decide, I suppose. We can take things as far as we want and as fast or as slow as we want. The important thing is that I love you and what I want is for us to be happy, for you to be happy.” Robbie didn’t really realise what he’d said until James’ expression cleared down to just a single expression and the best word he could come up with to describe it was elation,

“You love me?”

“Oh, of course I do!” and then they were in each others’ arms again. Robbie wondered if he should kiss James but holding and being held was so right that he just continued until he realised that this time James really was shivering.

“Come on, pet, we need to get back to the car and get home, it won’t do you a bit of good if you get a cold on top of everything else.”

The two of them walk slowly back towards the footbridge, perhaps a little closer together than they did before, both of them wondering if holding hands would be too ostentatious.


End file.
